Thursday, September 11, 2008

13.

we all change.
we all go through things to help us change.
we all go through things to help us get to where we are.
we all go through things for a reason, and not always because we are supposed to go through things. sometimes because we make ourselves go through things, to test our strengths. to test our existence. we try and play head games with our own heads, and before we know it, we're so far in, and there's no turning back.

i'm not turning back.
not this time, and never again.
i've waited my whole life, to love someone who loved me back, just as much, if not more.
and now, i have that. now, i have you.

and i have everything. and i know that you know, that there's nothing in this world, no man holds enough power to hold me back from that. no one person could ever change how i feel for you. when you asked me if this was it, and i replied with yes, i meant it. this is it. this is everything i've waited and worked for, my entire life. this feeling of belonging somewhere, belonging next to someone. this feeling that i get when i hear you, when i see you. it's a feeling that no one can understand or put into words, even when i feel like maybe just maybe, my words are enough, even when i know they never will be. i know i have my way with words, as i always have. but there's nothing i can say now, to change your mind. i don't think you understand completely how much of me you have. i don't think you can comprend that, mostly because i wasn't supposed to happen, you never thought you'd ever fall in love again, but you did, we did. and now you're dream of just leaving, getting up and leaving everything behind is being put on stand by, and you don't know what to do. you love me, and i love you. and if there was any reason for you to just get up and leave with out say, know that i'd do everything in my power to find you. to track you down with every breath i have, every beat of my heart. to show you, to prove to you, that you are worth far more than what you think. you hold more heart than you know, both yours and mine. you're every reason i am who i am, and i know i've said that a thousand times, about a thousand other people, but when i say it about you, there's more meaning behind it, than there has ever been. i'd walk every mile, i'd wear holes in my shoes if it meant finding you, and showing you exactly what you are worth. i fell in love with someone who's convinced himself he is nothing, who's convinced himself he's never going anywhere, ever. and to me that's alright, because i want to go everywhere, and if you aren't going anywhere, then there's no reason as of why you can't come with me. i don't get worked up like this over nothing. i don't cry and panic over nothing. you are everything to me, and i don't think that phrase has ever been used before, and had so much hiding behind it. i love you, and that's all there is too it. i love you for who you are. i love you just the way you are. and not even you could change that. not that you'd want too. because you can say you've felt like this before, but i can say i haven't. i can tell you all the people i've loved, and i can tell you with out a doubt in my heart, i've never loved someone so much. not like i love you. there's so many options for me, so many places i could go, and not a single one of them matter unless i have you, next to me, everyday, for the rest of my life. you, i, we are going to make it. even if it's making it with nothing, even if it's making it with what we can carry on our backs, we're going to make it. and everything is going to be okay. nothing can hold us back, and nothing can bring us down, even our own downfalls at risk, those don't even matter now. we are stronger than this. i still have you, as i'll have you tomorrow and the days following. and we will still have everything.

i love you. and i've never meant that more. i've never in my entire life, felt so compelled to tell you, as i do now. you say you wouldn't want to bring me down, and i say, i'm not letting you go down alone. and i mean that, you're not going anywhere, and if i have to make you promise me that everynight before i close my eyes, i will. because i know you'd never break a promise, i know you'd never hurt me. i know you'd never hold anything against me, or hold anything from me. i've never felt a love like you. i've never been more in love with anyone, like i am now. and i am completely in love with you. every fiber of my being, you have. you have all of me. i've said it before and i'll say it again. or as many times as i have too, said as loud or as quite as needed, just believe me when i say, i'd go with you. and nothing else would matter. because i would. i'd give up anything and everything, as long as i had you. i wouldn't write another word, or sing another song, unless i was writing for you, or singing to you. you're why i am the way i am today, you're the reason i have changed. finding you and loving you, and you loving me, was supposed to happen, and i don't know who's hands are responsible for any of this, but just know that you have all of me, all of me today and all of me tomorrow, and all of me everyday after that. i'm not going anywhere if you don't go anywhere, and if you go anywhere, i'm going to follow, and there's nothing you can do or say, to change my mind.

i love you elijah ackerman, with all of my heart.
so believe me, believe me when i say, i'd go with you.
just believe me.

3 comments:

Claggie said...

Lucky guy to have a girl that writes such beautiful words to him! :]

claudia said...

"i wouldn't write another word, or sing another song, unless i was writing for you, or singing to you. you're why i am the way i am today, you're the reason i have changed. finding you and loving you, and you loving me, was supposed to happen, and i don't know who's hands are responsible for any of this, but just know that you have all of me, all of me today and all of me tomorrow, and all of me everyday after that."

that was my favorite quote from it, it's beautiful

Claude Monet said...

Oh, by the way, I made one of these, in case you wanted to know :)